How is it possible to really help people over the phone, isn’t working face-to-face much better?

I get this question quite often.  For me, working over the phone is actually even better than working in person.  Remember, we are working primarily with energy, so time and space are much less important.  We are talking and using our imaginations to connect with each other, so what clothes you’re wearing or what color your hair is doesn’t make any difference.  If I were a massage therapist, then yes, I would need to be in your physical presence.  I don’t work with people who are seriously suicidal, over the phone, because they may need more eye contact, or just the simple awareness of someone being there for them physically.

As with so many things in life, we need to stay aware and in balance.  Most things have limitations, or work better in some situations than in others, that does not mean they are any less effective than another tool.  For example, a hammer is just perfect for driving a nail into a board, but pretty terrible at shooting a screw into a board.  So, we just know that hammers have their place and we need other tools for other tasks.

Some people actually discover that they feel more comfortable working by phone than in person, so trust issues can be worked through easier than in person.  I like working by phone better because I’m less distracted by the usual concerns of my own personal appearance as well as what the other person brings physically.  Even little things like if the office is warm enough or the lighting is too bright or the people in the next office are getting too loud, and so on.

Because my vision is low, I am more tuned into tone of voice than most, so working by phone is very easy for me. I sort of  fill in the blanks with my imagination and I think my psychic attention is even sharper than it is in person.  Sometimes the connection by phone is so strong, I can almost physically feel it.

So, think of working by phone as simply what it is, another option, another tool.  It has its strong points and its weak points.  With the internet’s coming of age, people are becoming more open to working not only by phone but by text chat and voice chat using various computer programs, such as SKYPE, Yahoo and Pal Talk  Even video is becoming mainstream now for those who like to have more visual information while talking to others.  As we here so much now: It’s all good!

Question: How can a person be humble and also have a high self esteem? Isn’t having a high opinion of yourself like having pride? Isn’t pride something we are supposed to avoid if we want to be a good person?

Answer: To me, being humble is having a sense of your own self worth, knowing that you don’t need to earn it or be better than anyone else. Being humble is simply knowing your worth is based on being human, rather than being based on what you can do or what others think of you. Having a high self esteem is pretty much the same thing. Having an inner knowing that you hold yourself in high esteem. You respect yourself.

Being proud, in the more negative sense of this word, usually implies an over exaggeration of who you are. Many times when a person is acting in a way that others may interpret as egotistic, proud or arrogant, we can usually recognize this as a cover-up for that person’s deeper feelings of low self esteem. In other words, when people appear to be arrogant, we can be on the look out for deeper feelings of worthlessness.

So, should we avoid pridefulness? Based on what I’ve just written it would make sense to me to try to stay honest with myself and with those around me. That includes knowing my strengths and my challenges. Being aware of my talents as well as my weaker points.

This idea is a fundamental concept of living in integrity. Those of you who have sessions with me, have heard me say time and time again that everything we do and everything we are boils down to just one basic concept:

Be true to me.

Stay aware that all of who I am, I already am that.

All my answers are within me.

I’m allowing my Soul to emerge.

Growing and maturing is not so much about learning to be different but about allowing my God Self to show up while I’m still in human form. That’s why we are here on this Earth.

Imagine you are like a Tootsie Roll Pop. Your body is like the candy on the outside, and your Soul or God Self is like the chocolate on the inside. Doesn’t it make sense that if we are God/Goddesses in the center, like a Tootsie Roll Pop, then as we become more and more aware of this goodness within us, wouldn’t we love ourselves more and more? That means we would have less and less reason to pretend we are wonderful. Why pretend when we can actually BE wonderful.

I think the more we allow our candy shells to melt away, the more others will see our chocolate! Neither is good or bad. Bother are wonderful parts that make up the whole of who we are. Allowing our goodness to shine is not only a gift to others but to ourselves. Dare to shine your Light. Simply choose to be the best of who you are, and then choose to have the courage to know your are beautiful.

One Month Later:

Marlana!!!

He called right after your psychic message!!! How amazing is that! He’s very intuitive huh?? We talked for like 45 minutes and it was great! I know we’re going to have our things come up, but this foundation is incredible.
I am so happy, thank you so much you’re the best!!! I’m going to order a Soul Fragment Exchange for him because he just ended a relationship that was confusing for him and he seems hurt. I’m doing that now.

Love,

Jody (Not her real name)

To learn more about psychic messages and clearing up old relationships, visit my website at www.MarlanaLyte.com

Here’s a letter I received from a client after phone session:

Marlana,

I had a phone session with you for clearing negative karma around intimacy & relationships. I was in love with someone I worked with for months after we dated and it didn’t work out. We remained great friends though. You cleared the karma surrounding us since we’d known each other in past lives. You said if anything romantic is meant to spring from us, the past is now cleared and our relationship will be too.

He had been starting to become aloof and not return my phone calls, prior to your session with me and I was very hurt and upset for a long while. The very next day after the session, I walked into work feeling good & centered. I was flowing internally, a distinct flow that was peaceful.

Then, in the morning, while I was at my desk, he came into my room and then right up to my desk and said” Hi”. There was something different in his way of being. He apologized for not calling me. He was warm, friendly, but inviting… Very different from the slightly cold aloofness that had been troubling me the last few weeks.

I noticed I was peaceful over the next few days. Five days after the session I met someone who was really great, when I hadn’t met anyone in months. It didn’t work out, but he was the first promising person I had dated in a long time. I’m free and fulfilled in a way that I haven’t been in so long.

Now, in the present time, the man I work with (who I think is the love of my life) and I started seeing each other again. I don’t have those same fears of rejection and insecurity. I’m relaxed, myself, and I’m so happy being with him. This is a significant transformation in the way I was being in relationships.

You’re a good woman and you made a huge difference for me. Whatever happens I’m forever transformed and I know there’s love there for me. Thank you so much. I’ll be speaking with you again. I wish you only the best.

Thank you,

Jodi (not her real name)

Question: How do we find compassion for people who seem to have no compassion themselves?

Answer: I really had to look this question over deeply in my life as a therapist working with all kinds of people. Most of the time I worked with the survivors of whatever ordeal my client had gone through. I didn’t often get to see the “perpetrator”.

I remember in my own therapy as I began reliving my own horrible abuse, the memories just kept bubbling up. My therapist continually told me to love myself. He taught me the meaning of phrases like “I’m worth loving”, “I deserve to be loved” and so on. One day I looked at him and asked, “What do you say to people like my father if they come into your office?” My therapist smiled and said, “I tell him the same thing.” I was shocked. How could a horrible monster like my father come into anyone’s office and get told the same things about deserving to be loved, just like the person they had hurt?

As I healed my own wounds, and continued to see clients I did come face to face with a few perpetrators. I was actually surprised how easily I was able to find their beauty, their core of Love. I was amazed at how soft and vulnerable they actually were underneath their expressions of pain. I was intrigued at how their faces seemed to melt into softness as they understood that what they had done wasn’t going to be judged by me.

My work continued to lead me to a place where I worked with many people who were the “outcasts” of society. Some of them had done awful things, according to most people’s standards. I watched them “get it” as I released the pressure of judgment from them during the sessions so they could dare to look and understand how their actions had affected others. As I held up a structure for them that, even just for an hour, allowed them to honestly understand how they had chosen pain, not only for others but for themselves, they could find the courage to forgive themselves and choose to stop their own pain which eventually resulted in stopping the pain of others.

I learned to stop judging others, because I had plenty of shadows of my own. For example, I was raised in a family who had no compassion for cats unless they were mousers. My dad regularly killed my cats, yelled at them one day and suddenly they were gone, “got ran over” was the typical answer. I grew up believing that animals had no soul. When they died, they just died. We never gave cats shots or good food or even water. My mom always said, “Oh, they’ll take care of themselves.”

It wasn’t until I met my second husband that I had a model of someone who adopted a pet and it was a big decision, like adopting a child. That pet doesn’t get dumped because it gets on the table once. He used to give his cat a bath every week, and even brushed her teeth every night. She had very poor teeth and actually needed it. I had never given cats shots until he insisted. He always talked to his cat and I could see how she loved him. Until then I just thought cats were sort of like plants. Everyone I grew up with drowned kittens and did mean things to them because it was entertainment. I didn’t like it, but I seemed to be the only one that didn’t.

I learned differently because I had someone to show me a new way, and I allowed that new teaching into my heart. If no one had been able to do anything but tell me how awful I was, I might never have found the courage to begin a new way of being with cats.

So, my point is that judging doesn’t seem to actually work if we want people to have an opportunity for growth. At the same time if we make an assessment (discernment without the negative spin) that someone is dangerous, then we need to do what we can to take care of ourselves and those around us.

When I can, I choose to keep myself at a distance from those I have discerned are in a different place than me because I am focusing on my own life at the moment. If it is my job, or my gift, to be with someone I’d rather not spend time with, then it’s my choice to judge or not judge. I personally find that judging, in its negative sense, is actually my way of stepping on that person to help me feel better because they are less than me, so I must be better. I’m filling a need for self love in myself.

When I become aware that I’m using another person’s energy to feed my own need for self Love, then I can release my judgments and go directly to my God/Source inside of me to meet my need for self Love.

Judging others is a way of distancing ourselves from others. Sometimes that distancing is part of the “judgee’s” need for safety, and sometimes it’s a way for the “Judger” to distance. So, all of this boils down to fear. We are afraid to connect to others who are different than we are. What is fear? The opposite of Love.

How many times have you tried to save money and just can’t seem to do it? Have you wondered what it is within you that holds you back from doing things you want to do, but somehow you feel a little guilty if you have too much fun? How about those sexual hang ups? I would like to say that we can blame all of our problems on dusty old oaths and vows that we took in past lives, but that’s not quite the case. At least not ALL of our issues can be immediately cleared up by removing unwanted vows.

However, when we let go of old vows and oaths taken in previous times, that can be a significant step in your process of getting unstuck and moving on to the next level of growth. Most of you, who are reading this article, have probably had lives where you have been spiritual seekers of various types. Many of these spiritual systems incorporate vows, oaths, promises and so forth as part of the “path to enlightenment”.

In and of itself there is nothing wrong with taking these oaths. The problem arises when that particular life time is over and you are now living in a different set of beliefs and aren’t aware of having those old vows. The issues become more complex if you’ve had many life times where you took oaths in one, vows in another and covenants in yet another life time.

All of these rituals are powerful because they are intentional and often the words “forever” or “through eternity” are incorporated into the promise which really seals them deeply into your energy body. You can imagine that after many lifetimes of making these sorts of promises and each time leaving little remnants behind, your life could get pretty confusing. Part of you may be trying to spend money to keep a vow of poverty, while another part keeps wanting to give everything away due to a vow of materialism.

Clearing away these stray oaths and vows can be a bit tricky at times because they are often deeply connected to beliefs that these promises will bring you closer to God. Even so, we can usually catch them by clearing them energetically or when we work by phone we can clear them using Past Life Integration.

I want to share with you a session that happened many years ago now, but it helps people understand how I do psychic messages.

A woman’s voice over the phone said, “Can you help me understand my mother? She was in an accident awhile ago and has been in a coma for many months. The doctors prepared us for her death, her husband, also my father, pretty much gave up on her. She is conscious now and she has tubes in her throat. She can’t eat or talk.”

“Sure” I answered, “what’s your mother’s name?” My client started to answer me, and I interrupted her with, “Never mind, I’ve got her. Wow she is one strong woman!” My client, MK, laughed and assured me that she came from a line of very strong women.

I saw MK’s mother in my mind’s eye and she looked strong and healthy even though I knew she was just out of a coma and in a nursing facility. That’s one nice thing about talking with the energy of a person who is physically ill or speaks another language, I can still hear them in my own language without the impediments of their physical body.

I asked MK’s mother if she wanted to tell her daughter anything at all and she let me know that she so deeply appreciated everything her daughter was doing for her and to please let her daughter know that she does recognize her heart connecting with her daughter. I passed this on to MK and gave her time to absorb the message.

MK then asked me if her mother had anything to say to MK’s father. Before MK even finished her question I heard her mother in my mind’s ear saying, “Fried Chicken, tell him I said I want some Fried Chicken!” The message was so strong there was no way I was going to wiggle out of telling MK. <grin> Sometimes my human side really thinks this energy stuff is pretty far out. <blush>

Anyway, I said to MK, “Your mother is yelling at me to tell you to tell your father that she wants fried chicken. She’s incredibly urgent about this.” On the other end of the phone I heard MK gasp.

“Oh my God! That’s what my mother was constantly saying to my dad. She loves fried chicken, that is exactly what she would say if she could.” We laughed. MK’s mother insisted that MK tell her father that she has asked for fried chicken so then he would know she was really alive. She wanted her husband to stop being so afraid that she was going to die. I passed this message on to MK. Then the picture of her mother, in my mind’s eye, became calm and faded away.

Being enlightened seems to be about moving from darkness to Light. Darkness comes any lots of shades and for many reasons, abuse is just one reason, however we all have probably encountered painful situations and our learning mechanisms jump into place and the lesson we can so easily learn is not to trust, or to withdraw from possible
pain.

Enlightenment is all about learning how to open up and stay open to Love and Light.  We learn from painful histories, then we learn how to discern, so we don’t just lump everyone into the role of hurtful people.  As we continue to grow and heal and evolve, we eventually discover that we deserve to be treated well, and to be loved and respected.  Then when we get through that phase we move into the place where none of it really matters anyway, because the part of us that’s “God” or “Love” cannot be truly hurt.

So… being and becoming Enlightened is not separate and apart from pain, shame, guilt or fear.  It’s not about overcoming those things or even hiding them, I think it’s about healing them and gaining depth and understanding that we would not be able to do without those experiences or similar ones.

What is negative energy and how do we protect ourselves from it? Sometimes I think people name things that are uncomfortable as negative and want that thing to go away, when actually it may important to the big picture. For example, anger. People often think that being angry is a bad thing and want to get to a place of total peace.  I am the first one to go for peace within myself and around me.  However, I also know that anger is vital to that peace.  If I thwart my own anger, or pretend I’m not angry when I am, then I may likely to become more angry later on because I didn’t set boundaries which I needed to set with others.